BENGALURU: Happy Women’s Day! Today is a day set aside to read Indra Nooyi interviews on how women need to help each other in the work place. Today we will watch long form advertisements about how women should do something fresh today… and every day. Today we will be bombarded with flyers urging us to celebrate our womanhood by availing discounts to laser off our decidedly ‘un-womanly’ chin hair.
Here are a few things not to do this Women’s Day.
1. Post super motivating posts on your Facebook timeline ’saluting’ motherhood . Like this one:
“When son starts working, father retires… but mother works for her husband… works for her children… works for her grandchildren. She works for everyone till the end of her life… that is why she is GOD!”
The accompanying picture to these truly heartwarming words is a back shot of a woman in a crumpled saree, her hair in disarray surrounded by what looks like all the dishes after lunch service at A2B. How did Ravi Varma forget to paint this scene when he was in his Lakshmi, Saraswathi phase?
2. Organise annoying, meaningless events at your place of work that do nothing to actually help your female employees in their careers. Rangoli contests, fireless cooking competitions, ramp shows and fancy dress contests. Really?
3. Make advertisements telling women you’re so good at doing it all. Multi-tasking mothers who do the laundry, sew an outfit for the annual day by hand, bake gluten free cookies with natural icing and still slay a presentation the next day at work looking amazing in tight white pants that she can wear thanks to amazing new sanitary napkin technology. The reality is, I’d rather voluntarily sign up for Azkaban than have to do all the above in skin tight white jeans which will probably give me a yeast infection.
4. Now this is a sensitive one. Please don’t rant about how bad you have it. Stay-at-home-moms, stop complaining about how much work you have to do at home. Working-outside-and-inside the home moms, stop cribbing about how much the stay-at-home-mom’s hate you and judge you. If anything, we all know who the enemy here really is: Our children! Blame them.
5. Please stop waiting for the important people in your life to magically wake up and realise that they need to help. Writers are urged to show not tell, but unfortunately for women, I don’t think subtlety works. Tell people what you want.
Tell your kids, your partner, your boss, your extended family what you need. Say please, because good manners are important, but don’t make it sound like they’re doing you the favour of the century by cleaning up after dinner.
PS. Before you go ‘awwww’ and share the new Reliance Fresh ad for Women’s Day, think about what an insufferable ass the Uncleji in it is. From ridiculing his wife for wanting to ‘wear a bikini at this age’, to complaining to his kids, to mock concern for her well being to pretending to be sick when she’s about to leave for her girl’s trip to Goa.
He is a big, stupid baby and I hope Renuka Shahane laced the dahi she left in the fridge for him with